I just got back from the supermarket.
Let me just preface this by saying that I was never a stealing type of person. When all the other girls were stealing makeup and jewelry from the makeup and jewelry stores, I was waiting outside. I may have been a punk rock kid, but deep down inside I just don't like getting into trouble. There's something about being singled out that just makes my skin crawl. ick. I was punk rock in other ways, but stealing merchandise for the thrill just makes me gag.
That said, there have been times when I felt that bending the rules a little was acceptable. Especially when large corporations set up systems that beg to be taken advantage of. For some reason, supermarkets have always been the target of my five finger discounted ire.
When I lived in Berkeley we used to go to my favorite ghetto mart for groceries. Perhaps you've been there- the one with the worst parking lot, all the carts broken, no checkstand people so you're required to stand there for an hour to pay for your food ghetto mart. I didn't enjoy shopping there, but the food was cheap, dang! There weren't any signs telling you where to find your food, so you had to walk each and every aisle to locate the peanut butter, the bread, the jam. this place was begging for a little exploitation.
Luckily, nobody enjoyed being there, from the manager on down to the lowly stockpeople. So we had wo items we routinely stole from ghetto mart: grapes (go to produce aisle first, get grapes, then snack on them as you cruise the aisles looking for the ramen noodles. By the time you're done shopping you might have eaten at least half a pound of grapes. not a bad deal. of course, you pay for the remaining grapes as a gesture of goodwill.) (I might add that there were many people who ate entire meals while shopping there and would brazenly wander off with a cart full of wrappers and no merchandise whatsoever.) and milk (select a gallon, put it on the underside of the cart, and just push the whole cart through the checkout counter without putting it up for payment.) I look innocent enough that this sort of victimless crime could always be credited to a flighty mind if questioned. Although I have never been questioned.
This type of behavior had been left in california along with all the other little deviant things I used to enjoy. Well, most of those deviant things- there are still a few little spices in this life.... But then our local major supermarket chain blew a breath of life back into my mostly deviant-free lifestyle.
The local major supermarket installed check-you-own grocery terminals. At these terminals you scan all your own food, type in your own produce codes, weigh your own vegetables. Aha- a system ripe for the picking.
Tonight I just couldn't help myself. I was scanning all my items one by one, cursing at the cost of it all even with my discount saver so-we-can-build-a-database-all-about-your-spending-patterns card. My pomegranite was $2.49. What a rip-off! One cannot tell until they've gotten home and cut it open whether their pomegranite is any good, yet they charge you $2.49! what a rip off. so, I stole a grapefruit to make up for it. I typed in the produce code and when it asked me how many grapefruits I had, I typed in "1" instead of "2". Immediately my heart was racing, my forehead might have sweated a little if it weren't 52 degrees in the supermarket. I placed my two grapefruits on the belt and sent them down to the bagging area.
Nothing happened. The grapefruits cruised on down to be bagged, the machine prompted me for my next purchase, and everything was fine. the security guard leaning against the wall continued reading his stolen newspaper (from the newspaper rack), the checkout monitor person continued eating her stolen twizzlers from the candy stand, and the machine hummed along asking me to place my next item on the scanner. no problem.
right- I was telling myself the whole time that I was stupid. why bother stealing a grapefruit? why not go out big and steal from saks with it all on video? who cares about a 79 cent grapefruit? I was really sweating it too- I almost left the offending grapefruit on the conveyor belt for someone else to take. I braced myself for the big fall when I was pushing my bags through the double doors. I was waiting for the tap on my shoulder and that voice saying "Ma'am, I think you better come with me."
It didn't happen. I made it out of there with no shakedown whatsoever. I drove home contemplating the theft of a grapefruit and as soon as I saw sweets I confessed. I explained how it seemed like such a rip-off to have to pay $10.00 for multivitamins and 2.49 for a shifty pomegranite. Instead of a lecture, he asked me how I did it. I explained how simple it was, and would be even easier if I had known the produce code for something really inexpensive so I could have substituted that for pomegranite instead. So what did he do? he came straight to the computer and looked up produce codes. now we have a whole list and even know the system so we can steal organic food for the price of gross genetically modified food. I got no reprimand, no finger shake or tight lips. In fact, I think this almost encourages me to do this more often.
In the end, I realize that the people who really lose are those who have to sell their little items to big stores for less profit. and those of us who have to pay more for our food because it keeps getting stolen. but right now I feel a little justified- my pomegranite might be worth 2.49, but it also might be worth nothing. I'll just have to cut it open and see. So maybe I am a thief. but $2.49 for a pomegranite? that's the real rip-off.