I have full-blown puppy fever. It's baaaaad. It all started back in the summer, when I spent two godforsaken months with these incredibly stupid and very hairy Samoyeds. (the dogs, not the siberian people who they are named after. although that would be kind of funny.) My goodness they were stupid dogs. And they were very poorly trained, which made them even more irritating. All that white hair and absolutely no manners.

Anyway, spending the summer with two miserably huge and furry creatures made me start to wish for one of my own. A little dog. A yorkie. a wee sprite of a dog. I would shave off all that embarassing hair, of course. None of that parted down the back dragging on the floor hair for me. Just a cute little dog to call my own.

This is a big suprise for many people who know me. They know me as Lola, the she-warrior who can't stand dogs. This is all just a front- a cover for the soft and delicate Lola who really does like dogs, just not when they lick her face or drag about around the table while she is eating. That's just poor manners. I wouldn't lick your face, why do you expect me to like it when your dog licks mine? Same goes for the unfortunate crotch-sniffing. eeeeew I hate that! I like little dogs. Not the big "let me attack you" dogs that can't seem to get enough of your love. oh- and the drooling!

Anyway, I want a little dog that doesn't drool, isn't tall enough to jam his head into my crotch when I enter the room, doesn't shed enormous amounts all over my black wardrobe, doesn't feel the need to lick my face constantly, etc etc. Is that so hard? A little good training and high selection criteria isn't such a bad thing.

Of course, the pound puppy police are after me for even stating I would slightly just a little bit desire a specific breed of dog. By desiring a yorkie, I apparently am part of the evil army that wishes to overrun the world with puppy mills and genetically disfigured dogs that spread pestulence and malformations rampantly across the countryside. oops.

By the way, sweets has told me absolutely NO WAY will we be getting a dog if we wish to stay in this apartment. My supercat also agrees.

So I've been looking at puppies on line.

I have an interesting history with dogs. My first dog was a little black dog, given as a bribe so I would stop sucking my thumb. He was promptly eaten by a neighbor dog after I'd had him about a month. That same neighbor dog then attacked me. I've been a little dog-shy ever since. Even so, when I was twelve my mom and I got a dog just before she took me to california to start her new life. Apparently the new life didn't include the dog, because I came home from school one day to find that she had taken the dog to the pound, without telling me.

So now I want a real dog of my own. I'm a grown-up, I can make these sorts of decisions.