Andrew from Diaryland just started a new thingie- Swappingtons a good, cash-free service for swapping cd's VHS tapes, and DVD's. If you go there and register to swap something, please tell the computer thing that I referred you because then I will get free points! yay!

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I have been going to weightwatchers now for six months. (I quit over the summer- for those of you keeping track) And have been steadily gaining weight. It's become very very frustrating. I have been on the verge of quitting for about two months now, but have managed to drag myself back in weekly even though the news is always bad.

This weight gain is totally mysterious. Especially this year- since the start of the new year I have been keeping close track of my points. I have been exercising almost daily, with either running or yoga. I have been busy, and I have been low in points and high in activity. These all seem like positive things, that would yield some results. No, not the case. A five pound weight jump in the past week. I have been literally crying and pulling my hair out in frustration.

So yesterday I forced myself to go back, again. This time I asked the woman to not tell me what the gain was.

"Please, just don't tell me- I know I gained."

"you gained."

"I am going absolutely crazy over this. I have never tried as hard as I have in the past three weeks."

"It's all in your head."

"What, my head has gained five extra pounds this week?"

"What are you doing?"

"I have been exercising all the time, and eating low points, and drinking water and not snacking. And I still gain, more than ever before!"

"Are you staying within your points range?"

"Yes! I banked 29 points this week!"

"You're not eating enough."

"Isn't that a little counter-intuitive?"

"Your body is telling you to eat more."

"Yeah, whatever, crazy woman."

Well- I didn't say that last part. But it makes no sense! I need to eat more like I need a hole in my head to drain out that five pounds I gained in the past week. Well, if a hole in the head did just that, I might sign up.

I am completely fed up with this weight loss thing. Absolutely depressed. I never thought growing up would be so much about the sadness of weight gain. It's so hard to accept that I will never enjoy full-fat hot chocolate again. Hot buttered popcorn. french fries...

That's kind of a stretch. So after I left that stupid duchess meeting I went shopping with my friend and I thought to myself- so I need to eat more you say? Well, I'll have a large order of fries with that, and make it a biggie.

oh, yeah- by the way- it's too damn COLD!!!