So, yesterday sweets and I were talking and he made some reference to me acting like a freebooter or something. This stopped our conversation dead.

"freebooter? What is that?"

"It's a pirate. I'm suprised you never heard it before."

"I think you made it up. It's like an internet pirate term. As in, the freebooter will restart your computer when you least want it to. The freebooter worm."

"No, it's a real term. look it up."

so I did. I never tire of the glory of having a fast internet connection at home. Simple things that could have been satisfied in the past with a brief perusal in the yellow pages are now so much more entertaining online. I ran into the computer room and searched for freebooter on dictionary.com. Ha!

"A person who pillages and plunders, especially a pirate."

even better: "One who plunders or pillages without the authority of national warfare; a member of a predatory band; a pillager; a buccaneer; a sea robber."

"Ha! a pillager. one who pillages. See: a buccaneer."

Sweets was triumphant.

So I giggled about buccaneers for a few minutes, while sweets gloried in the dutch origins of the term. Then, of course, we followed the link to booty. This is, of course, when it all went downhill. You must scroll down to find our true definition for booty (plural: "boo-ties") not to be confused with the first entry for booty (plural: "boo-dies"). Why, everyone knows that booty is the plunder taken from an enemy at time of war. Like that middle third of the bed that somehow becomes home to the long and gangly legs of one sweets during the night. Used in a sentence: Arr, again you have claimed the bed booty! Arrr. But rest not, for tonight I shall plunder and pillage in sweet pirate revenge!

So then sweets decided to send me to my sad place and had me look up sandbagging. Because, you see, he has this terrible way of playing card games. Mark my word, if you ever try to play a game with sweets he will pretend he's never played the game before. He will wait patiently while you explain the game, and even do the fake first hand, in order to better understand the intricacies of this game. Then he will lose a few times, just to further build your confidence. When it starts looking like perhaps you may just win this game, he starts winning. At first with suprise, then with more intensity. He will beat the pants off you, I assure you. All the while he will pretend he has "beginner's luck."

Oh no, my friends, this is no beginner's luck. This is sandbagging. And you have been had. enjoy!

Once I'd gotten over being mad that he had come up with another fake new word for me (two in one morning!) I had to try my own luck. But no, I am a loser. And don't tell me you didn't think to look that up either.