I just need to vent for a moment. just a moment.

Sweets is out of town and I am home and it is Freezing. Literally. Today couldn't have gotten above twelve degrees. I know there are many of you who live in much colder places, but this is very cold for me. This cold is made colder by the fact that our heater doesn't work when it gets this cold. Kind of silly, isn't it. The house is old enough that the piping that brings the natural gas up from the street can't come up to the third floor apartment on very very cold days. Days such as today. So I am home, alone, and very very cold.

Being this cold makes me sort of discombobulated. Yesterday morning I sprayed hairspray in my underarm instead of deodorant. and I haven't used spray deodorant since I was in high school. My whole existance is sort of struggling right now. I keep forgetting random crap, I can't bring myself to get out of bed in the morning, I can't bring myself to do homework. I can't I can't I can't. I can't even think straight.

Yesterday I went to my birthing class and my car window was frozen shut so I had to get out of the car to ask to be let into the parking lot. Today I went to do laundry downstairs and the detergent was totally frozen solid. No detergent, no laundry. I live in crap-town, USA.

Dear Sweets,

please come home. we miss you very much. conferenceland is fun, but you would be much happier struggling to re-light the fucking pilot light every five minutes so your darling helpless wifey doesn't freeze. And please make me burritos for dinner. Thank you.

I spent a good hour and a half at the student health services today to try to figure out what the uncomfortable pain is in my stomach. It turns out that uncomfortable pain is the baby. This is ominous.

damn it all.