We just returned from a trip out on the town. All you can eat indian food buffet, shopping for a new pair of winter boots for sweets and new underwear for me.

I never really appreciated just how much one's body changes during pregnancy. I feel pretty much like I have just gained a lot of weight, but the weight is hanging out in a different place. Namely, in my chest and belly. When I weighed this much before I could wear normalish clothes. So I saved those clothes after I lost that weight thinking I could wear those clothes when I was pregnant. I was very suprised when those clothes stopped fitting about ten weeks into being pregnant. Even though I weighed less then (and still do) than I did when I had the chubby pants, they still didn't fit. So I resigned myself to buying maternity clothes. Even so, it has become more and more apparent that I am going to have to stop wearing my normal underwear as well. This is strange to me. Today I sighed as I selected the least offensive little packet of maternity underwear off the rack at Kohl's. Sweets laughed at me, and at the underwear. I laughed at the indian food caught between his teeth.

There was another little treat- I had to go to the bathroom while shopping (suprise again!) and passed by the maternity section at Kohls that I didn't know they had. It wasn't very large, but there were in fact maternity clothes there. Yay! I ran to find sweets so he didn't think I was in some sort of department store bathroom emergency and dragged him over. Ever hopeful, I scanned the racks to see what bounty they had to offer. Disappointment soon followed when I realized that Kohl's is part of the international conspiracy to make pregnant women look absolutely repulsive. I don't really understand this.

This morning as I flopped back and forth in bed trying to find the one position where I didn't feel like I had to pee, I had a shocking thought. In less than five months we're going to have a real, live, living, breathing happy little baby! Here! in this very aparment! Complete with Darwin Cradle and lead paint and kitty litter within crawling distance. Hard to really comprehend. I think this is all brought on by our opening up and filling in parts of the baby book for the first time yesterday. Strange to be writing little notes to a creature felt but not seen. Strange to be writing notes that said creature will read when he is an adult, when his partner is poking through his childhood stuff.

I tried talking to sweets about this, but all I got out of him was a "yep, things are going to change." This isn't the kind of processing I was hoping for. I wanted more of an "oh shit" response, but I suppose I have to be happy with what I have. I think he protects me from his "Oh Shit" moments because he thinks I might respond with an equal "oh shit" and that might just be too overwhelming.

So sometime between today, the last day of January and the end of May I have to get my act together. Crap.