I have to be quick or else a certain legume might just decide to freak out. Right now he's in his swing (aka the neglect-o-matic) and happy, talking to the bears in the mobile overhead, but he can go from happy chatter to bitter and resentful screaming in about as long as it takes to walk across the room. We have a small apartment too.

So there was a little discussing going on here today concerning who is appreciating who and who was feeling underappreciated and who was feeling like a vessel of milk only and who was feeling like they were being treated poorly. I will admit, the misunderstandings and miscommunications are amplified with lack of sleep and perhaps today wasn't the best day to stage a state of the union address. But there were ISSUES that needed to be RESOLVED before one of us threw the other out of the apartment.

So parenting. yeah. It really is hard. Last night he went to sleep like a charm. The night-time ritual worked beautifully: bath (in the new bathtub that is great!) then nursing then bed. We were in bed by 10:40. Then he woke up at midnight. And stayed awake until 3:00. And then I couldn't return to sleep until 3:40. And then he woke up at 4 something. And then I accidentally spilled the nystatin that we're using to treat the thrush. And then the sticky nystatin was everywhere. And then I was crying. And then he was wide awake and I was exhausted and there was no humor in the situation.

So I slept until almost 11:00 this morning. But that isn't even going to make up for the lack of sleep I had last night. At least it's a start.

This experience tries my every nerve at times. Being that I am primary feeder-person (one with the mammaries and all) I usually see my boy when he is hungry and cranky. Sweets gets him when he is awake and happy. I get him in the middle of the night. all night. Not the best arrangement, but until men lactate, that's the way it is. As a result, there are times (such as when I was on my hands and knees cleaning nystatin off the floor at 4 in the morning) when I feel pretty challenged by this experience.

But again, I have my boy. And he is wonderful. And the cooing coming from the clicky clacky swing just behind me makes it all somehow disappear. Well, most of it disappears at least.