Feeling a bit blue today. I think this is directly related to the tremendous sleep deficit I am living through. I haven't been this tired since I had a job that made me work 20 hour days. And now I have a job where I should be working 20 hour days. My step-mom used to get out of bed at 4:00 in the morning so she could get some work done child-free. I just can't do that, no matter how much I visualize myself doing it when I am laying in bed at 4:00 in the morning with a thrashing, wide-awake baby.

When I talk about my sleep problems, everyone has advice. I appreciate advice, sure. But I really just want someone to say something along the lines of "oh, honey. That sucks. Come here and have a cup of tea and a nap. It will get better soon." I wish it would get better now. I should be napping now.

I should be napping now. I repeat myself for emphasis. But I have a million things to do. I have a book to read and patients to call and a little dresser from IKEA to assemble. I have research to do and so.much.shit.to.do.

I forgot the point I was trying to make when I started this entry. Maybe that I'm depressed and tired and blue and unmotivated.

I want a haircut. I wasn't going to cut my hair, but with all the pregnancy hormones leaving my body, the hair is falling out in giant clumps. So I went to a haircut simulation website where you can play with haircuts on photos of you. Only, I don't readily have an appropriate image of me, so I was trying to chose from the stock faces they have on the site. Unfortunately, there weren't any white/indian mutts with chicken-butt chins and big cheeks. So I had to take the best approximation: philipina. It's kind of insulting, in this strange way. Not that my best approximation is philipina, but that they don't have a better selection from which to chose. There were something like five different white women to chose from, and three different asian prototypes, but only one black woman and obviously no mutts. At least I'm not a man trying this service- there were only two guys total to play with hair and make-up with. Anyway, I found a decent hairstyle for the cut, and now I have an appointment for friday for my little makeover.

Now if I could just find time to work out and lose a little baby weight.

sigh. I think I'm going to read my policy book until I fall asleep. which will take about three seconds.