Sigh. I'm on vacation and I still don't have time to write. Actually, that's a lie. I've been writing in my (gasp) paper journal and in the lentil's paper journal only a little bit. so you don't feel cheated.
Even though it's a new year, I still feel like a total loser. My apartment is in shambles. My life is disorganized. Today, in an effort to clean my desk, I moved two magazines to the magazine pile. This doesn't even make a teeny magazine-sized dent in the pile. It's as though the pile regenerates in protest. I haven't done any of the things I was hoping to do this break, and it's already almost over. I'm very sad and feeling a lot like I should find a support group for high-functioning losers.
But the good news is I have a fantastic baby. who takes up all my time and more of my husband's.
So, new year recap: (stolen from agent lulu)
1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before? Had a freakin' baby
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I'm tragically sorry, but I don't remember my resolutions. But I tried and broke a few already: I will contact my patients with more regularity and I will stop picking at my face. oh well. failure comes easy when one has such low expectations.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? uh huh. many
4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes and no- yes patients did die, but none of the deceased were close to me necessarily. as in, not friends or family.
5. What countries did you visit? Rhodes Island, a wee landlocked island deep in the wilds of new england. where the ladies are pretty and the laddies are too.
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004? better resolve. more time with my son.
7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? duh- may 29th, because that's the day I split in two and produced another human being.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? there are actually a few here- I got big money from the government, I got big money from the American Cancer thing, and I (duh) had a big baby who I love big.
9. What was your biggest failure? allowing the baby weight to linger like a disgusting layer of blubber.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? all told, no.
11. What was the best thing you bought? right. challenge me already. I think I would have to sum up all the take out food and put that in a best purchases category. I love take out. which leads to a disgusting layer of blubber, I know!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Sweets, the super dad
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? the monkey man himself- mr bush
14. Where did most of your money go? toys for the boy.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? my boy
16. What song will always remind you of 2004? You Are My Sunshine and Moon Shadows
17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? eh.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? sleeping longer stretches at a time
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? getting up in the middle of the night
20. How will you spend Christmas? pass
22. Did you fall in love in 2004? can you say new baby?
23. How many one-night stands? pass
24. What was your favorite TV program? Six feet under and Queer as Folk
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? dumb dumb dumb. unless you count el presidente
26. What was the best book you read? The Baby Book by the Sears Conspiracy for Healthier Happier Babies
27. What were your greatest musical discoveries? these great baby music CDs that agent lulu sent me. And Steve Burns
28. What did you want and get? A healthy, happy baby and a picture perfect birth
29. What did you want and not get? to be free of baby weight by now.
30. What was your favorite film of this year? shit, I don't know. What do you think, I remember that crap? Uh, I liked the Life Aquatic movie... No wait- I loved The Garden State. Enough so to google Zach whatever his name is and read pages from his blog.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 31, and we went to a chinese restaurant, but we had to keep our plans very fluid in case the boy would decide to arrive that day. he didn't, but he did come three days later.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? More time, more money, less stress.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004? butt ugly. first it was cheap and borrowed maternity fashion, then it was replaced by cheap nursing shirts and optimistic trousers.
34. What kept you sane? nope.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? eh.
36. What political issue stirred you the most? election crap
37. Who did you miss? Alice
38. Who was the best new person you met? Finnegan's family
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004: Boy, does a baby change your life or what!
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: I can't think of one right now and the baby needs me.... oh wait- "hush little baby, don't say a word... mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird."