updating twice in one day does not mean something exciting is happening. In fact, it is almost a guarantee that NOTHING exciting is happening. So be it.

I had my 40 week appointment today. As of midnight tonight, my baby is late. Okay, I can handle that, as long as he's healthy and happy and we survive the birth with little trauma. I'm inpatient, I know. I want him here now. I want to spend as much time this summer with him here and less time with him hanging out in my uterus, sipping amniotic fluid and looking for his lost shaker of salt.

Anyway, the appointment. Every week I have a different doctor, just because that is how things work out when your practice has six different people doing births. Every week we have to go and sit in the little room and wait and wait and try to remember what the doctor we will be seeing this time looks like. Today, I was a little suprised, even though I'd seen this OB twice before. I don't know- her face didn't match her voice or something. Anyway, she was not at all impressed with my 12 hours of labor story and blew it off by saying "first babies never come early." Hello? is it early just because the expected due date is off by twelve hours? Grrr. And then she checked me.

Two weeks ago they said that I was 80% effaced and I got all excited. Then last week another OB said I was 60% effaced and I was a little discouraged. Well, today I am 50% effaced. Because apparently I am going back in time. Which is what happens when you sit in that particular examination room- the one with the Entertainment Weekly magazine from May 2004 ("Oh hey! They have a magazine from this month! cool.... oh. no- it's from TWO YEARS AGO!") and the Zoloft clock that is at least an hour behind. I contemplated setting it to the correct time today, but sweets pointed out that I would screw them up next fall if I messed with the clock. So I left it. I could use some zoloft after that appointment though.

So I am discouraged and getting ready for the very long haul. There is no reason now to have the baby early- my exams came and went and I took them, I turned in all my papers, my family came and left with very little fanfare, and now we're just here. My friends are all moving away or carrying on with their lives, and we're just here waiting. waiting. waiting. waiting.

At least there are a lot of movies to rent. Maybe I will rent the first season of queer as folk and try to get into that.

We were doing all these things thinking that our days without baby were limited. Lots of eating out, lots of staying up late and going out with friends. Now we're poor and can't really afford to eat out much at all and the friends have gone about their business and we're still waiting. waiting.