I've been gone too long. We were on vacation in New Mexico and just returned. Mahko was a geat traveler, with few fussy times even though our flights seemed to be scheduled right in the middle of what is typically his worst part of the day. He was a treat to travel with, and I even got to read my silly murder mystery novel for a period while we were flying.

The trip was difficult though. Sweets and I are having a hard time getting along, my grandmother had a fall and needed a lot of attention, my needy little sister was there being a pain in the butt for most of the time, my dad was preparing to sign the divorce papers and see his now ex-wife after a long absence, and I was just tired and worn out. It wasn't an easy trip. I will still say that a difficult trip home is better than staying in Connecticut though. At least I was home, you know?

Mahko is terrific. He started cooing and talking back to us while we were away, and has learned to flirt with strangers a little. He is so charming and wonderful to have around. He has also learned (finally) that he can take naps without one of us in the bed with him, which makes me a lot happier and a lot more productive. He's 12 and a half weeks, which I can't believe.

There are all these cliche's of parenthood that I was so disgusted by before but can't help but reflect on now. How wonderful my life is with him, how difficult things are, how I wouldn't trade this experience. I feel like I've been blessed with this amazing gift and I am still waiting for someone to figure out the mistake and come and take him away. I just can't believe that this wonderful little person came out of MY body.

I started back at work today. Just one meeting and discussion of scheduling, but it was nice to be back in society a little. While I was gone, sweets gave Mahko a bottle so I came home and had to pump for the second time today, which I wasn't happy about. But I suppose i have to get used to this. We've been fighting a lot about feedings and pumping and I've been resistant to hand over the job, but it sort of worked out today. This way he wasn't freaking out when I came home and I wasn't worried the whole time that my little lentil was hungry. I'm such a control freak, I don't want to relinquish any of this responsibility. When we were in Santa Fe we had a fight about this issue, and I finally asked Sweets to just let it go and let ME bring it up when I wanted. Which doesn't really work.

A lot of disgruntlement these days. I think we're both kind of stressed out as we realize how much work this will be. Sweets has to collect more data this fall and I have to get some work done at school and neither of us is really ready for it. But we have deadlines that are much bigger than just our little family. No fun.

I hope he cheers up a little once he's been in the forest some this weekend.