goodness, it's been a day. I couldn't possibly ever say TGIF again, based on today's Friday Performance.

Where to start. Perhaps the little spat with the sweets over the placement of the mirror over the car seat and the still-unattached car seat tether that just hangs there, taunting us. The same tether that seemed like a good reason to spend an additional bazillion dollars on car seatness at the baby superstore, the same tether that just dangles off the head part of the car seat, swaying with every curve and lurch of our camry.

Then there is the issue of the ridiculous loch ness monster slippers that the boy needed to wear today. Needed because his father insisted the the monkey robeez that he usually wears weren't warm enough. So I humored him and had the nessie slippers on the boy when we went for our walk. This isn't one of those easy walks where we go out the door and down the street, either. Friday is my morning for our coop babysitting, so I was at the other boy's home, struggling with getting the other boy in his coat and in the stroller and out the door without letting the cat out, all the while carrying my boy in the bjorn, feeling my back breaking with each moment of norwegian designed baby carrying joy. Anyway, you get the picture- two babies, two slippers, one long walk. We got back from the walk and I was changing diapers when we took a little break to play in the mirror. This is where I noticed that there was only one slipper where there should have been two. Cue panic attack.

This isn't any old slipper. This is the slipper that my mother in law made a huge fuss over because she found out about the boy's impending arrival just after returning from Scotland. While in Scotland she had purchased and given away a pair of loch ness monster slipper. So she was pissed that we hadn't told her of the pregnancy earlier, so she could have saved the nessie slippers for our little lentil. Anyway, a few months later she was able to return to Scotland and buy those damn slippers and wee, everyone is happy. Until lola realizes that one of the slippers was missing. So she had to bundle up the boys again, strap on the norwegian torture device, wrestle the boys, the stroller and the cat out the door and down the street. I was able to retrieve the slipper- from the jaws of a very disappointed pug, may I add.

Anyway, that was the morning. The other boy's dad returned from his teaching gig and the lentil and I came home. I thought that perhaps my lentil needed a diaper change so I checked. Lo and behold, diaper explosion. Not just any diaper explosion, but a full blown freak out of an explosion explosion. I think if I wasn't a nurse I might have just given up right there. But I am a nurse and I have cleaned up worse poop than that, so I set to work. This poop extended up the back of the diaper and up the back of the boy, all the way to the top of his shirt. unbelievable. Everything he and I touched turned to poop, like some twisted baby einstein King Midas. (lentil has the poopy touch!)

I bathed the boy, nursed the boy and had him ready for the babywalk that happens every friday afternoon. We were right on time. Then, I thought perhaps sweets wouldn't like it if I left a trail of poop across the apartment, so I took a few minutes to gather the poopy items (three tops, socks, absorbent changing pad cover and waterproof cover, two towels, onesie, and oh, so much more). In the final moments of cleaning, I put the boy down on his trusty rocking chair so I could get his shoes (not nessie slippers!). As I was returning to him, he reached out for an invisible baby luring object and toppled out of the rocking chair. My first baby fall. It was horrible. Face first. So we had to nurse him up all over again and rock him and sing to him and promise him that there are things in this world that are worse than falling off one's trusted steed, as horrible as that may seem.

By the time I got to the babywalk it was over and nobody was there with whom to commiserate. So we swung on the baby swings for awhile and I contemplated just how bad it would look if there was a stroller with a perfectly content sleepy baby hanging out (with the brakes on!) in front of the closest bar. It wouldn't be THAT bad, right?

So we came home and sweets was back from the forest and the boy took a long nap on my lap and now here I am, debriefing the internet on my No Thanks It's Friday disaster day.

score: nessie slipper - 1, Other Baby stroller - 1, car seat tether - 1, sweets - 1, poop explosion - 15, untrustworthy baby rocking chair - 1, bar fantasy - 1, mom - 0.